An R and Two Ds

Life is unpredictable.

I just retired from AT&T with 41+ years June 27th.

My father-in-law died earlier this week @ 89 years young. Ugly 4 years of the big C.

Today my wife announces she wants a divorce. I am 62 and like everyone we've had our ups and downs but just wow. The thought of having to go into debt on a home (ours is paid for) is daunting to say the least.

I'm not looking for sympathy or divorce advice, just venting I guess. Going to have to get a new job to get a mortgage....yikes. Hold the ones you love close my friends.

Cover me, I'm going in.

That is a lot of change at one time. Wishing you the best going forward.

Wishing you all the best going fwd, as Bud said.

So she'll get half of your retirement?

I don't know yet...probably.

Linc:

Lots of people have been through this and support from friends and family is more important than you can imagine.

Seek legal advice early, the littlest things you decide to do can be misinterpreted by either the ex or the courts. A consultation with a family lawyer who does collaborative law or mediation is about as non-threatening as you can get and you can learn a lot in just one hour. Simple questions like "Where do I go?". "What do I do with joint accounts?" "What do I have to do right now and what can wait for a month or two?" "What can I expect from her?"

Try to keep talking with her, but if that door is closed you need to make some hard decisions.

Best wishes.

Mike Cassidy

I was lucky with my first wife. We both knew it wasn't right for us and parted friends. Very rare indeed. I got a great second wife and life is good. All of that said, there is hope for better and hang on to that. All the best with both the emotional side (a friend gone) and the mechanics of who gets what.

Whatever this is worth to you, first try to keep it together, seek counseling with her, if that isn't going to work, take a hard line on your emotions. They will be there but in the end it is going to be all about the money! So get that fact in your head and figure out what you are worth, what half of it is, whether half is the house or half is the pension plan or the accumulations. Just get to that number quickly. The attorneys will cost to keep the fight going which in the end will all be about the money. So cut your losses and move on. Sounds cold, but I have dealt with enough of these to recognize the outcome. Good luck.