Bud Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Wait for it....................................................................................... A receding hare line. Just needed a little levity this afternoon. Link to comment
Hank in WV Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 (edited) That reminds me of: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. And several other jokes that are popular with 4th graders. ;-) such as: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Woo----Woo who? Don't get so excited, it's just a joke. Edited October 16, 2018 by elkroeger Link to comment
szurszewski Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 That reminds me of: Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. And several other jokes that are popular with 4th graders. ;-) such as: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Woo----Woo who? Don't get so excited, it's just a joke. We really need to get you and Jeremiah together... Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) A duck waddles into a card shop, and asks the clerk "Do you have any tape?" The clerk replies "No." So the duck waddles away. The very next day at the same time the same duck waddles into the Card Shop he waddles right up to that same clerk and asks him "Do you have any tape?" The irritated clerk replies in a stern voice "No! We are a card shop we sell cards not tape! And if you ask me again I will nail your bill to the counter!" So the duck waddles away. At the same time on the 3rd day the Duck waddles into the card shop. He waddles right up to the clerk and asks him "do you have any nails?" The clerk says "No." Then the duck replied "Good! Do you have any tape?" Edited October 17, 2018 by elkroeger Link to comment
Endobob Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I assumed many of the members on this board are retired, out of work, or for some other reason have a lot of available time for chatting online. This BMWST thread confirms it! Link to comment
Bud Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 I assumed many of the members on this board are retired, out of work, or for some other reason have a lot of available time for chatting online. This BMWST thread confirms it! Even you find time in the middle of the day to chat. But we really want to hear the resolution of your free bike. Link to comment
szurszewski Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I assumed many of the members on this board are retired, out of work, or for some other reason have a lot of available time for chatting online. This BMWST thread confirms it! Even you find time in the middle of the day to chat. But we really want to hear the resolution of your free bike. He's probably trying to get AWAY from that topic, Bud! Besides, it already has its own ten pages, or whatever, and still going strong... Link to comment
Bud Posted October 17, 2018 Author Share Posted October 17, 2018 Hasn't been updated since yesterday. Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 17, 2018 Share Posted October 17, 2018 I assumed many of the members on this board are retired, out of work, or for some other reason have a lot of available time for chatting online. This BMWST thread confirms it! I find myself in that 3rd category. Not sure I can explain it though.... A guy walks up to two preachers in the park. He says "I'm Jesus Christ". The reverends don't buy it. He says "look, I'll prove it to you. Follow me." so they follow him to a nearby bar. All three walk in, and the bartender says "Jesus Christ, are you in here again!?" Link to comment
Mike05 Posted October 21, 2018 Share Posted October 21, 2018 The Tomato Garden An old gentleman lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Papa, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Papa, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "do you have any luggage?" Photon says "No, I'm travelling light." Link to comment
greiffster Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks "do you have any luggage?" Photon says "No, I'm travelling light." I hate it that I like that one. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted October 25, 2018 Share Posted October 25, 2018 A philosopher walks in to a bar, the waiter says, "Monsieur Descartes will you have your usual" he replies"I think not" and disappears....... Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 The Heineken Uncertainty Principle says "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night." Link to comment
Bill_Walker Posted October 26, 2018 Share Posted October 26, 2018 The Heineken Uncertainty Principle says "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night." Link to comment
Bud Posted October 26, 2018 Author Share Posted October 26, 2018 I broke my pumpkin. But I successfully put it back together using a pumpkin patch... Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 "I'm not a magician, but I did pull a hair out of my nose, once." Link to comment
Sonor Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 What is Mickey Mouse's favorite car? A Mini van. Why is it Piglet doesn't want to play with Tigger? Who would when he plays with poo all day. Got others that are much less child like - probably get me banned. :-) Link to comment
hmfriedman Posted October 29, 2018 Share Posted October 29, 2018 A horse walks into a bar. Before the horse can even say a word, the bartender looks up and asks: "Gee buddy, why the long face?". Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 Two backcountry skiers were on a day trip, high in the Selkirks when a major storm hit ahead of the forecast. They dug a snow cave and hunkered down for 4 days. Out of food, and sucking on snow for 3 days, the weather finally broke. At first light, they skied back down to their car as fast as they could. They ate what little food there was in the car and soon discovered it was hopelessly snowed in. Chains, 4wd and shovels were no match for the record snowfall. So they reluctantly put their skis back on and headed towards town, 20 miles away. Just as dusk was setting in, they spotted a rancher, out feeding his cattle. So they waved him down and explained their dilemma. "Sure, I'll help you two out. I just need to clear the last of this hay off the sled, and you can hop on." "Before we head for the house," one skier asked, "Would you have any Chap Stick? We've been out for days and our lips are all chapped, split and it's horribly painful." "Chap Stick?" the rancher said, "You guys use that junk? I got something WAY better than Chap Stick." With that, the old rancher walked over to one of his cows, lifted the tail straight up in the air and firmly planted both lips on that cows bung hole. Astonished, the skiers both yelled out "THAT CURES CHAPPED LIPS!?!?" "Cure it? Hell no, it don't cure chapped lips. But it SURE keeps me from licking them!" Link to comment
tallman Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 What do you call a politician that tells the truth? A) B) C) D) Link to comment
brianh70 Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 What did Mama Buffalo say to her little boy before he wandered off to play with the rest of the calves in the herd? Bison. Link to comment
elkroeger Posted October 30, 2018 Share Posted October 30, 2018 What do you call a politician that tells the truth? A) Unemployed B) C) D) Link to comment
taylor1 Posted October 31, 2018 Share Posted October 31, 2018 B) a figment of the imagination Link to comment
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