Bright shiny thing in the sky causes panic throughout northern Englad.

Breaking News..

Police and local authorities have been deluged by calls from concerned members of the public regarding a huge bright light moving across the sky.

The chief medical officer has confirmed that accident and emergency centres are reporting a huge increase in patients producing excessive amounts of vitamin D. The cause so far in not confirmed but a visiting tourist from Texas has suggested it is called the Sun.

Oh no, the horror, the humanity!!!

If clear weather continues, I suppose northern "Englad" will be deluged by reports of a smaller bright light moving across the sky at night.

I can confirm that there have also been reports of this phenomenon in the Cotswolds today, typically whilst I was at work!

To add to this, on Saturday night I spotted three stars in a line horizontally in the sky - aliens have not landed, but apparently I have been subjected to a sighting of Orion Belt....... serves me right for looking, they've only been visible since time began!!

Now off to get my eyes tested.