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#1021716 - 10/29/18 06:28 PM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: Bud]  
Joined: Mar 2014
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hmfriedman Offline
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hmfriedman  Offline
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A horse walks into a bar.
Before the horse can even say a word, the bartender looks up and asks: "Gee buddy, why the long face?".

#1021746 - 10/30/18 02:59 AM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: Bud]  
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elkroeger Online
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elkroeger  Online
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Rochester WA
Two backcountry skiers were on a day trip, high in the Selkirks when a major storm hit ahead of the forecast. They dug a snow cave and hunkered down for 4 days. Out of food, and sucking on snow for 3 days, the weather finally broke. At first light, they skied back down to their car as fast as they could. They ate what little food there was in the car and soon discovered it was hopelessly snowed in. Chains, 4wd and shovels were no match for the record snowfall. So they reluctantly put their skis back on and headed towards town, 20 miles away. Just as dusk was setting in, they spotted a rancher, out feeding his cattle. So they waved him down and explained their dilemma.
"Sure, I'll help you two out. I just need to clear the last of this hay off the sled, and you can hop on."
"Before we head for the house," one skier asked, "Would you have any Chap Stick? We've been out for days and our lips are all chapped, split and it's horribly painful."
"Chap Stick?" the rancher said, "You guys use that junk? I got something WAY better than Chap Stick." With that, the old rancher walked over to one of his cows, lifted the tail straight up in the air and firmly planted both lips on that cows bung hole. Astonished, the skiers both yelled out
"THAT CURES CHAPPED LIPS!?!?"
"Cure it? Hell no, it don't cure chapped lips. But it SURE keeps me from licking them!"


I'm a man, and I can change, if I have to, I guess.

Eric
#1021756 - 10/30/18 12:06 PM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: Bud]  
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tallman Offline
Picture Perfect Humorist
tallman  Offline
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Posts: 19,987
Tallahassee, Florida
What do you call a politician that tells the truth?

A)
B)
C)
D)

lurk


If my mind wanders, should I follow it?
Tim
Conch Town Krewe
2003 K 1200 GT
1996 R 1100 RSL
1980 R 100 RT
1972 R 75
1968 R 50
All now gone...

#1021758 - 10/30/18 01:47 PM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: tallman]  
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brianh70 Offline
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brianh70  Offline
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Fuquay Varina, NC
What did Mama Buffalo say to her little boy before he wandered off to play with the rest of the calves in the herd?




Bison.

<crickets chirping>


2004 BMW R1150RT - "Frau"
2006 Kawasaki KLR650 - "The Battle Bike"
1981 Yamaha XJ550 Maxim - "Max" (Gone)
1973 Suzuki TC100 Trailblazer - "Trouble" (Gone)
1970 Honda CT70 - "The Gateway Bike" (Gone)
#1021774 - 10/30/18 11:12 PM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: tallman]  
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elkroeger Online
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elkroeger  Online
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Posts: 3,309
Rochester WA
Originally Posted by tallman
What do you call a politician that tells the truth?

A) Unemployed
B)
C)
D)

lurk






I'm a man, and I can change, if I have to, I guess.

Eric
#1021798 - 10/31/18 11:06 AM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: Bud]  
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 323
taylor1 Offline
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taylor1  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 323
Harkers Island N.C.
B) a figment of the imagination

#1021800 - 10/31/18 11:54 AM Re: What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards? [Re: elkroeger]  
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Posts: 7,979
John Ranalletta Offline
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John Ranalletta  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 7,979
Originally Posted by elkroeger
T
"THAT CURES CHAPPED LIPS!?!?"
"Cure it? Hell no, it don't cure chapped lips. But it SURE keeps me from licking them!"


Years ago, when living in Ft. Wayne, IN, our neighbor was a proctologist with a sense of humor. I guess that helps in that job.

I asked why he chose that field of medicine. He replied, "To break a bad habit." I asked, "What bad habit?". He said, "Nail biting".


How can safe spaces, trigger warnings & the reporting of micro-aggressions create courageous, resilient citizens?
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