Keeping it funny…

[John Ranalletta]

 

[TEWKS]

I see privacy isn’t a priority either… 

[John Ranalletta]

[TEWKS]

The best group poop story I've ever heard came from Al White before going off to Vietnam. 

[TEWKS]

This feline ain’t playing that!  Caution Word Danger. 

 

 

[John Ranalletta]

On 5/19/2024 at 1:22 PM, TEWKS said:

I see privacy isn’t a priority either… 

[Skywagon]

John...that looks like the true meaning of #2

[John Ranalletta]

Love conquers all. 

[9Mary7]

11 hours ago, John Ranalletta said:

Love conquers all. 

[TEWKS]

Since we’re on the subject ^ and no this is not political.  
 

 

[Red]

[SDCRJohn]

A Wife came Home early and found her Husband in their Bedroom making love to a very Attractive Young Woman. She was very Upset. 
_"You are a Disrēspêctful Pīg!"_ she Cried.
_"How dare you do this to me – a Faithful Wife, the Mother of your Children! I'm Leaving you. I want a Divorce, NOW!"_
The Husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a Minute Love. At least let me tell you what Happened."_
_"Fine, go ahead",_ the Wife Sobbed, _"but they will be the last Words you say to me!"_
The Husband Began:
_"Well, as I was getting into the Car at Work to drive Home, this Young Lady here asked me for a Lift. She looked so Distressed, Helpless and Defenceless that I took Pity on her and let her into the Car."_
_"She was very Thin, not well Dressed and very Dirty and told me that she hadn't Eaten for Three Days."_
_"Out of Compassion, I brought her Home and Warmed up the Pizza I made for you last Night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on Weight. The Poor thing Ate it, Ravenously."_
_"She was Dirty. I suggested she have a Shower. While Showering, I noticed her Clothes were Filthy and Threadbare. I threw them away."_
_"I gave her the Designer Jeans that you’ve had for a Few Years, but don’t Wear because you say they are too Tight."_
_"I gave her Underwear, your Anniversary Present from me, which you don’t Wear because you said I don't have Good Taste."_
_"I gave her the Sexy Blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t Wear just to annoy her. 
I also donated those Boots you bought at an expensive Boutique but don’t Wear because someone at Work has the same Pair."_
The Husband Paused, took a quick Breath and continued:
_"She was so Grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the Door, she turned to me with Tears in her Eyes and said, “Please Sir... Do you have anything else that your Wife doesn’t use?”

 

[bendbill]

Oooo!   Ooooo!   another one:

[BrianT]

[TEWKS]

Wow, retro is retro but BMW is gonna get some pushback with this one! 

[Hosstage]

50 minutes ago, TEWKS said:

Wow, retro is retro but BMW is gonna get some pushback with this one! 

Now that is cold.

[Rougarou]

8 minutes ago, Hosstage said:

Now that is cold.

 

But funny

[Hosstage]

1 minute ago, Rougarou said:

 

But funny

I did guffaw a little when I saw it

[Rougarou]

6 minutes ago, Hosstage said:

I did guffaw a little when I saw it

 

Hope you didn't hurt yourself guffawing,....you know too much guffawing can be hazardous to you colon and bladder........I've seen a fully guffawed person and it isn't pretty in the aftermath

[John Ranalletta]

 

 

[John Ranalletta]

[TEWKS]

40 minutes ago, John Ranalletta said:

I better be careful. The six pounder only gets a 1/4 treat while the hundred pounder gets 3/4. DEI. No, not that DEI. 

Spoiler

Dogs Eat Identically 

Apparently it’s in their contract.  

[John Ranalletta]

[Skywagon]

[John Ranalletta]

Dad's babysitting again.

 

 

 

[Skywagon]

for those of you old enough to remember rodney dangerfield.

 

 

 

[John Ranalletta]

 

 

[TEWKS]

No use in lying to Mom. She’s smarter than you.. every single time. 

 

 

[Rinkydink]

Found this ancient medallion in my yard. Whoever wore it was a champion. 
 

 

 

[Skywagon]

I have one of those too. Not sure I ever used it

[Skywagon]

[bendbill]

some cleaner memes courtesy of BMW X3 website with 278 pages of funnies

 

 

 

 

 

[bendbill]

AND . . . a few of more questionable taste, so mods have something to do

[TEWKS]

Great taste!  
 

edit…

 

I edited my comment. While it was meant to be funny it bordered on being an asshole joke. 
 

My goal is to be a wiseass but never an asshole. 

[Skywagon]

This is both funny and tremendously sad......youth...what the heck  @Rougarou

@MikeB60

 

It's a bit long so suggest set speed to 1.25

 

Stop at 19:24 to avoid any political talk.

 

 

[syntorz]

19 minutes ago, Skywagon said:

This is both funny and tremendously sad......youth...what the heck  @Rougarou

@MikeB60

 

It's a bit long so suggest set speed to 1.25

 

Stop at 19:24 to avoid any political talk.

 

 

TPCF

 

(Too Painful, Couldn't Finish)

[Rougarou]

Lotsa folks confuse Memorial Day and Veteran's Day,....lotsa them.  Anyway I'm wondering if some of the stoopid answers that were given were just because a microphone and camera were pointed at them.

[roadscholar]

Ever watch Jay Walking when Leno would go out on the street and ask passersby pretty simple questions, granted most of them young (teens-20's). There's some real dummies out there : )

[Rinkydink]

 

[SDCRJohn]

[SDCRJohn]

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees
that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at
least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks,
"What's with the money in the jar?"
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money
in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the
three tests?"
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which
he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less,
and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You
have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."
"Third - There's a 90-year-old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I
won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then
do all those other things!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."
As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's
the damn tequila?!"
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he
drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to
a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming,
and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from
bites and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now... where's
that old woman with the bad tooth?"

[John Ranalletta]

[Hosstage]

One of the most true things I've seen!

[John Ranalletta]

 

 

[Hosstage]

Another dangerous example of "Watch this!"

Approved by men everywhere 

[John Ranalletta]

If youugonna' be a bear, might as well be a grizzly

[Rougarou]

 

[John Ranalletta]

[John Ranalletta]

How many times have I said this only to be ridiculed.  Doesn't she know there's a race going on here?

 

[wbw6cos]

True dat!