Stealthing your radar detector

[markgoodrich]

I have a couple of cop buddies who tell me if they see a radar detector on a bike or in a car stopped for speeding, there's no warning, you get a ticket. So a year or so ago I hid mine up under the tupperware.

 

Now, doing so causes a dilemma: you can't mute the damn thing. Laser won't work, but it doesn't work anyway. But you can make it mute, thanks to the wonders of ebay.

 

My mute button drank gallons of water on the recent Arkansas Death Ride and quit working, so I ordered a new setup. I figured since I have the bike stripped half-naked I'll go ahead and describe to the one person (maybe) interested in doing this how to do so. Although it's particular to the R1200RT, the same principle applies to any bike.

 

Aside from the tools necessary to remove tupperware, you will need:

 

One Escort brand radar detector.

 

One longish mini-jack wire which will reach from the installed Escort brand radar detector back to your Autocom unit. If you do not have an Autocom unit consider purchasing one of those "Screamer" things I keep hearing about; maybe that will work.

 

One Mute Button Assembly. There's another brand, which ends up being the same cost; this one is the "original," and the guy is very touchy about the other guy having "stolen" his idea and making inferior copies (actually I have both, and can't tell any quality differences)...take your choice.

 

One rubber mallet, large.

 

One 3-pound sledge hammer.

 

Many zip ties of various sizes.

 

One Dremel tool with reamer gizmo, or deadly EXACTO knives.

 

A fuse "block," as they're called around here.

 

Two pieces thick foam rubber cut approximately the size of an Escort brand radar detector.

 

One Band-Aid.

 

Installation:

 

Remove windshield and set aside.

 

Remove right side mirror and set aside if you don't have a fishing leader holding it in place. If you have the leader, just let it dangle.

 

Remove two screws holding the dashboard cowl-thing to the headlight housing thing, and pull towards rear of motorcycle a few inches. If you can figure out how to loosen the headlight housing thing your job will be a lot easier, but I did i with it in place.

 

Make a sandwich with two pieces of dense foam and one Escort brand radar detector. Try to figure out how to hold all those pieces together and in place while you use your other two arms to tighten large zip ties in an "X" pattern around that round frame thing up inside the speaker grill. Tighten zip ties securely.

 

Remove left side tupperware and seat and set aside.

 

Remove the little bit of tupperware that covers the right blinker light and set aside. Remove all dead bugs exposed by removal of little bit of tupperware and discard if desired. This will allow you to plug the phone-jack thing and the audio out jack into the installed Escort brand radar detector.

 

Unpack mute button wire loom and try to figure out what goes where. One clue is the phone-jack end plugs into the Escort brand radar detector. Fish it from the LEFT SIDE of the motorcycle up inside the fairings in a manner which pleases you, and run it back along the underside of the gas tank area, above the left cylinder.

 

Attach black ground wire to battery ground.

 

Cut stupid spade end off hot wire and heat small soldering iron.

 

Once hot, apply soldering iron to finger...just get it over with, you know you're going to do it.

 

Solder an appropriate connector to the hot wire so you can attach it to your particular fuse "block," as they're called around here. Or just wrap the bare end around a home-made power strip like I did.

 

Now, run the OTHER wire, the one with the little round button on the end, back up to the front of the bike, following the path of the phone-jack wire, and up along the underside of the left handlebar.

 

Remove the left instrument panel nacelle. This is tricky: if you have the ESA module (if you don't, you're screwed as far as this particular installation is concerned) carefully pop it loose; it has a tang at the top, so push up from below and try not to use the sledge or rubber mallet. There's a screw inside there you have to take out.

 

Now get down on your knees and crane your neck up at the bottom front of the nacelle. There's a "T" shaped piece of plastic up under there held in place with two allen screws. Remove both. Now, look at the hole where auxiliary mirrors go. There's a tiny screw there. Remove it. The Nacelle should come apart now.

 

Drill a small hole in the inner end of the nacelle big enough for the power wire to go through.

 

Cut the button off. Do it.

 

Look at the nacelle, and figure out where you want your button. Ideally it should be within thumb's-reach of your left hand. Drill a hole that will barely allow the button to be inserted from the back. Apply Dremel reamer or EXACTO

knives to carve the heck out of the inside of the nacelle, so you can fit the damn button up in there. If you use the EXACTO method you will likely need more than one Band-Aid.

 

Place large piece of heavy cardboard atop gas tank. Now that you've fished the wire up to where the button will be pushed through the hole you drilled, you have to re-solder the wires to it. Consider the ramifications of a soldering gun, a gas tank, a burnt finger distracting you, and go ahead and ask your wife if she'll PLEASE come help you and help hold everything in place. Do NOT, under any circumstance, perform the soldering iron to finger procedure to your wife.

 

Push soldered button through hole, attach washer and nut.

 

Listening through Autocom, turn ignition key to "on." If you hear the start-up sequence, you did good.

 

Put the nacelle back together.

 

Now, go back through all the wiring and zip-tie it all to various parts of the bike to keep them from dangling. During this procedure you will encounter something sharp which will cut your thumb and cause it to bleed profusely. Apply pressure with dirty shop towel, run upstairs, wash hands, and apply Band-Aid (image is a day later, after careful cleaning, but rest assured there was much blood and moaning).

 

 

You're almost done. Program the Escort brand radar detector (don't ask me, RTFM) as follows:

 

X Band OFF (No one uses it. Really)

 

Laser OFF (It's blind, remember?)

 

Startup Sequence: FAST (avoid all that annoying beepity boopity)

 

Readout: DARK (VERY important; at night a cop might see the red lights through the speaker grill)

 

Replace all tupperware, ride motorcycle at illegal speeds, see if it works. If not, see below.

 

RUBBER MALLET PROCEDURE:

 

Apply mallet smartly to side of head during installation if, for example:

 

You kick the million freaking screws all over the garage;

 

You solder your finger twice;

 

Remember the "set aside" part of the windshield? Did you step on it?

 

You get nailed by the cops after taking my advice.

 

THREE POUND SLEDGE PROCEDURE

 

If, after a couple of years use, you go through torrential rains, your mute unit may quit working. This will be extremely annoying as you have become used to silencing the Escort brand radar detector at will. If, like me, you order an entire new wiring setup and go through the above-described procedure a second time and realize, just as you test the new setup, that really, all you needed was a new little 99-cent button, place left foot forward, hold sledge at eye level, aim carefully, and drop on left foot.

 

In answer to the usual questions, I can't tell any reduction in range of the unit; no the laser doesn't work, who cares?, there are lots of places you can put the button, I can provide custom-sized foam rubber for $47.50 a pair, including two zip ties.

 

[OoPEZoO]

Excellent.....thanks Mark

[tallman]

My stealth installation involved removing it from my tankbag and putting on a shelf.

Besides, my GT won't go that fast...

[Nice n Easy Rider]

[markgoodrich]

My stealth installation involved removing it from my tankbag and putting on a shelf.

 

Besides, my GT won't go that fast...

 

I won't call you a moran, but I will point out removal is not installation.

[tallman]

It was installed on the shelf.

An Uninstall.

or an outstall, whatever.

 

I wonder if you can remove the audio component (speaker) that emits the "beep/tones" so you wouldn't have to mute it and still get the signal sent to the Autocom?

[markgoodrich]

It was installed on the shelf.

An Uninstall.

or an outstall, whatever.

 

I wonder if you can remove the audio component (speaker) that emits the "beep/tones" so you wouldn't have to mute it and still get the signal sent to the Autocom?

 

No, I don't think so. When you plug a jack into the audio out, the internal speaker is silenced. The only sound goes to you ears via Autocom, etc. The mute button silences either the internal speaker or the audio out. I mute the unit when I get an alert that's getting stronger.

[tallman]

How about removing the internal speaker itself?

Just curious if I ever go w/a RD again.

[CoarsegoldKid]

We're happy to here that Suzanne stayed out of harms way. Nice install. When I get my RD I'll come over and you can supervise.

[markgoodrich]

How about removing the internal speaker itself?

Just curious if I ever go w/a RD again.

 

Tim, I bet if you just plug a jack into the audio out it will silence the internal speaker, something like this:

 

[MT Wallet]

I enjoy your humor. You know how something is more funny because you're happy it didn't happen to you, but you know it sounds like your projects? Well, I'm now wiser knowing how this project went. Thanks for sharing...I'm still laughing.

[Kathy R]

[markgoodrich]

We're happy to here that Suzanne stayed out of harms way. Nice install. When I get my RD I'll come over and you can supervise.

 

Normal BMW shop fees will apply: $795, plus $43 shop supplies, Band-Aid at cost plus 200%.

[Polo]

I ride with this guy almost weekly.

 

Good Marcos.